June 06, 2015

Two Anecdotes



Hey.

One of two waterfalls at the World Trade Centre Memorial site.

Went on a small break, travelled to Manhattan with the family for five days. It was fun.

*****

I have a couple quick stories today; one about Jehovah's Witnesses, and the other about my friend's friend's cat.

The Witnesses came to our flat, knocked on the door. I answered.

"Hello," they said. "Would you like a pamphlet?"

"Uh, sure," I replied. I heard Julian come downstairs. I took the pamphlet. They waved at Julian, peeking around the doorway.

"What are your names?"

"Terra," Julian said quickly. I frowned at him. It was his default alias, so I ran with it.

"Alice," I said.

"It's very nice to meet you," the Witnesses said. "Have a nice day."

"You too."

A month or so passed. We mostly forgot about them, and they came knocking every once in a while with their pamphlets. Julian and I read them and had a couple laughs.

One day, our friend Mitch came over for a Dungeons & Dragons session. He's completely blind, so Julian had to pick him up early at the bus stop and take him to our flat. Julian and I were both out that day, so Mitch hung around on his own. Of course, the Jehovah's Witnesses came knocking again.

"Hello," they said, "are Alice and Terra here?"

"Who?" Mitch asked.

They repeated their question.

Obviously, we'd never told Mitch about those aliases. He was smart enough, however, to recognise that Julian and I had probably messed with these people before.

"Nobody by those names lives here," he said.

"Are you sure?"

"Yep," he said. Then, "to fuck with them even more" (his words), he added, "I've been living here for two years. By myself."

The Jehovah's Witnesses were either freaked out, or they realised that they were being played, since they never returned to our flat after that.

*****

My friend Gail (she was the one who told me about the Christianity-spreaders in Korea as well) told me this story about her friend Melissa.

Melissa was driving on a mountain road one day when she saw a little, abandoned kitten on the side of the road. Feeling bad for passing it by, she picked it up and drove back home.

She took her kitten-rearing very seriously. She cleaned it, gave it a litter box and toys, and she fed it. And fed it. And fed it.

Every week or so, she sent updates and photos to her friends. "Look how big 'Big Boy' (it sounds better in Korean?) is getting!"

"Melissa," one of her friends said, "that... is a very large cat."

"I know," she said, "he's getting very heavy."

Melissa was not very bright.

She had to take her cat to the vet one day (I forget what for -- Gail told me this a long time ago). The vet glanced at Big Boy, and said, "Miss, that is not a cat. That is a mountain lion."

Melissa had to give her mountain lion to a place with better accommodations. Her little apartment wasn't large enough to house it, and it was illegal to keep mountain lions as pets anyway. It's a little unfortunate though, since there was probably some sort of emotional bond between them, but I guess it was for the best.