January 31, 2015

The Beer Jar: Beerdel Test Pt. 4 (3 Belgian Beers)


Balancing these beers on a railing was probably the most stressful thing I've experienced this month (December), other than my Orgo exam.

This was written in December; I just dug it up last Saturday.

I have been accused of not trying hard enough to find a legitimately good lady's beer. In an effort to correct this, this episode of The Beer Jar: Beerdel Test will be commenting on not one, not two, but three entire beers, because more variety means a higher chance of finding The One. And not only are they three entire beers, but they are three entire Belgian beers - Affligem Blond, Chimay pères Trappistes: Ale Forte, and Pauwel Kwak.

Ladies, take a seat (to lessen the distance fallen when swooning from the horror), grab a bottle or three, and get ready to sip delicately.

I'm actually hugely excited to try these, and was supremely chuffed to find them at the LCBO. I've heard good things about them.

Affligem Blond

You know a beer's special when the first language on the back of the bottle is Dutch (then English, then French, then Spanish, then Italian, then Slovenian [I think]). The bottle's lovely and slim, as a bottle should be, with a simple design and easily identifiable colours that, I must warn you, can be appealing to the male [hive] mind. The alcohol content was, sadly, a little higher than your average pale ale macrobrew, which ladies should always keep as the industry standard for lady beers and frat boy classics.

The beer itself was a beautiful gold. I was a little wary of the cloudiness - you know my thoughts on that, and the Calories - but there was no visible sedimentation, therefore I deemed it acceptable.

Oh my, the taste. On the more obvious notes: the hops were very present, but not overpowering; the barley - one of my favourite overt flavours in a beer, I will admit - was wonderfully balanced and gave a pleasantly sweet finish; and the carbonation was a little high. Hints of rose were the next most identifiable flavour. In other words, a surprising contender for a more complex lady's beer.

What am I saying? A lady's beer cannot be complex! Fragile, quivery lady brains are strongly affected when trying to decipher more than two flavours at once! I really scandalise myself sometimes.

Recommended for improper women and pale ale lovers.

Chimay pères Trappistes: Ale forte

I was completely new to the "Trappistes" designation, so I looked it up. Wikipedia says it's just a label given to beer that has been brewed within a Trappist monastery, which is self-sufficient and presumably survives on selling beers and cheeses and other such products. Good for them.

This was a strong ale (8%) in a stout little bottle. Like the Affligem Blond, it had a simple label with even simpler colouring. I had a sinking feeling, upon closer inspection, that this wasn't going to pass the Beerdel Test.

It poured with the same cloudiness as the Blond, but with slightly darker colouring. I could smell the hops from a foot away, as well as some agreeably yeasty smells. I sipped it. My tastebuds exploded.


I am now in a hospital with exploded tastebuds.

Not really, this beer wasn't as bitter as some hipster microbrews. Also, the alcohol content is actually quite sneaky.

Cant decipher flavours at this point Ned to,,, slepp...?

I'll recommend this beer every once in a while. Not too often, mind. And I recommend it for gentleman ladies and lady gentlemen, as well as anyone who'd want to try it after my comments above.

Looks like Pauwel Kwak will have to wait until the next Beerdel! As Tigger has said on numerous occasions, "TTFN; ta ta for now!"

Edit: ??? What was I writing?