June 28, 2014

Alice, Student of Architecture, Sister

(Ed. note: What's this? Real art?


     Hey there, I’m Alice, Tory’s younger sister. I’ve been dealing with this stuff far too long.

     If Tory’s chair is the lazy boy armchair, mine is definitely the red plastic rolling chair. They make it look like I’m working, but I’m actually having massive amounts of fun.

     Yesterday I was using such a chair doing schoolwork until 3am. No deadline or anything, I just felt like it. Don’t do this, by the way, its not as efficient as daytime work. This morning I actually managed to wake up at 7am. SUCCESS! So I hit the ten-minute snooze and woke up again at 11:30… oops.

June 24, 2014



In case it wasn't blatantly obvious already, I'm not actually an artist. There are some pretty careless elements in all the posts that would make artists go berserk.

I just draw these weird little things when I can't sleep.

June 21, 2014

Julian, Julien


In honour of Julian's authoring aspirations, I have constructed a short story.

The Caution Tape

     Once upon a time, there was a roll of dollar store caution tape. It sat in its box, dreaming of the seemingly endless possibilities for its future. A Halloween decoration, or a cheap fence, or maybe even a crime scene barrier. Whatever it was, it was sure to be glorious.

     It shivered expectantly as grimy hands transported it from its cozy cardboard box to a rusting metal shelf. Soon, it told itself, soon.

June 18, 2014

The Hanged (Wo)Man


Sometimes, I just want to sit upside-down on a cushy chair. Unfortunately, none of the chairs at The Loft (my apartment) are able to support this activity, and all the ones that do are in public areas.

Ants have been spotted scouting out The Loft. Every time I feel a tickle on me, I immediately freak out, because one time, I felt a tickle on my back and tried to scratch it on the wall I was leaning against and it turned out there was an ant there and it bit me.

June 17, 2014



There was a book I read in grade 8 about flying horses. The antagonists were trying to make robotic versions of these horses, but were failing spectacularly.

The only real detail I can remember - and I'm probably misremembering - is the name of the horse race:


They were presumably white and considered superior to all other horse races.

Now, this is unfortunate on several counts. First of all, I may have unwittingly read neo-Nazi literature in grade 8. Second, any searches I make on Google yield these sad little "Master Race" forums. Third, I can't find the book to confirm my suspicions.

Of course I could be entirely wrong.

"Oh well, my luck's out. Dance, dance, little gentleman!"

June 16, 2014

Breaking News


"Living Off of (Mostly) Cheap Food", the new single from Riot Undrrrgrad's debut album The Dark Horse will be released on 1/1/2016 at your local HMV. No relation to Katy Perry, who, I must say, cannot even remotely be described as a dark horse.

If second albums are called "sophomore", we should call debut albums "freshmen"... unless we already do, but I don't think I've heard it done before.

And for those who doubt that I am actually living off of this fare - probably the same people who think that parents use their child benefit cheques to buy alcohol, and that homeless people are lazy - here is photo evidence. Minus the chopsticks.

"Those", as if there are people who read this blog regularly.

I used a lot of quotation marks. Today is a quotation marks kind of day.

June 14, 2014

First Post (?)


I wore my giant flannel shirt today in preparation for a grocery outing.

Two (or three? I can't remember anymore) episodes of CSI later, I'm still on my bed, in my shorts.

Are blogs even relevant anymore?